Entry 13

It’s been a while since I’ve written anything down on how I’ve been feeling and to be honest what I’ve been feeling lately isn’t great. I’ve been feeling lost and scared of my future because frankly, I’m confused about how to live my life. I want to be happy and I can’t because my mind isn’t letting me. I want to go out and have fun but there are times when reality doesn’t seem real it feels as if my body isn’t mine at times and when it does I’m fine until I start to overthink and I fall into this loop of thoughts that I can’t seem to control until I realize that what I’m feeling isn’t normal. I have to pick myself up and realize that what I feel isn’t something that everyone feels and sees, this week has been nothing but a mess but, thankfully I realized what I was feeling and how it was affecting me so I could speak up and tell my Mom and Sister. Depression or any other mental illness are battles that cannot be fought alone and can’t be fought and won with one single battle. They’re battles that have to be fought over and over and are tiring to the soul and mind, but we have to realize what triggers these battles and see the patterns to win these battles or even avoid them altogether. However, we mustn’t give up and let our illness win because things will get better. We just have to realize that it won’t be instant and it won’t be easy. We have to remember that we’re not alone in these battles, we have family and friends supporting us and other people around us fighting the same if not different battles. We have to remember to be kind to one another because there are people with whom you can’t see their battle and see if they’re winning or losing. One word can have a dramatic effect on someone and it can even lead them to lose their battle but it can also help them win their battle and continue to move forward. This is why I choose to write because I hope that what I write will help someone out there who’s struggling in their battle. Whoever is reading this I hope you stay strong and continue being with us and I hope you have a good day/ night 🙂